About 9/11

I’ve heard Republicans talking about how it is important for the Republicans to have the convention in New York to help bring closure to the horrible events that happened in New York City, and around the country on September 11th, three years ago. That is a noble goal, but a bit naïve.

Five years ago, my wife’s mother lost her battle with cancer. It was an awkward time for me. My wife and I had only been dating for a few weeks when this happened, and I never got a chance to meet my wife’s mother face to face. I took a week off to mourn with the family. I had been dealing with grief in other parts of my life and I had learned a little bit about mourning.

Perhaps the best advice I ever heard about sitting with people mourning is, “Bring Donuts”. There is a lot wrapped up in that. There is concern about giving comfort, providing nutrition and not trying to tie things to ones personal agenda or telling the person to just get over it. Granted, donuts are especially nutritious. They are a good starting point, but you need to bring lasagna as people try to get their lives back together.

It has been five years, but every year around this time, I find my wife unexpectedly in tears. Grief persists, and trying to tell someone to just get over it and to use the event for a personal agenda is just as damaging three or five years later.

This is the first presidential election after September 11th. Both parties needed to address September 11th as part of their convention. I remember being at the Democratic National Convention. I don’t recall exactly what was said, but I remember how they turned down the lights and everyone held up small flashlights. I remember they sang something like “Amazing Grace”, I don’t remember exactly. It was quite, peaceful and solemn. It was the donuts that those of us in the nation who remember and grieve needed from a national party.

I watched some of the handling of this by the Republicans. People around me were offended by how sloppy and self-serving it seemed to them. I didn’t find it that bad, but then again, I left before Giuliani spoke.

I was never a great fan of Giuliani. I always found him a bit heavy handed. But I remember watching the events of September 11th and thinking that he did a good job. I started thinking that even though I disagreed with some of his policies in the past, he was actually a pretty good leader.

Now, I listen to the flap about his speech. Yesterday, a friend told me about watching Giuliani’s speech. He said that when Giuliani talked about turning to Bernard Kerik and saying, “Thank God George Bush is our President,” my friend almost threw something at the television.

Today, I am reading people talking about their first reactions to 9/11. One person said her first thought was "Who do i know in those buildings?", and was amazed it wasn't Giuliani's first thought too. Another person’s first thought was "Was it a Northwest Airlines plane?" since his wife worked for Northwest at the time. His second thought was "Who do I know in those buildings?"

I remember my own first thoughts. My wife was at the obstetrician. Our child was due in less than a month. As she was scheduling her next appointment, she looked at the television and saw something terrible, the World Trade Centers on fire. She called me, and we were on the phone together as we watched the second plane hit. At that point, our thoughts were simply about trying to understand what was going on. Was it a mechanical error? Was it pilot error? What sort of plane was it? What did this all mean?

Like my wife, my first thoughts were to reach out to family and friends, to let them know what was going on and to pray. I thought about my friends who lived in New York and worked in the World Trade Center. As the story unfolded, I thought about how I would talk about this with my own children and what did it mean to bring a new child into such a messed up world. I did not think about who the President was.

But then again, I’ve never aspired to the Presidency. I can easily imagine a Presidential aspirant being glad that someone else is at the helm during such a horrible event. A lot of people have criticized Bush for not being more decisive in those early minutes. I think that is somewhat of a red herring. I probably would have frozen as well. However, I don’t have media consultants trying to portray me as being more decisive than I really am.

I don’t know what was really going through Giuliani’s mind on that fateful morning, however his recounting of the events makes me think much less of him.

Posted by Aldon Hynes at September 1, 2004 1:48 PM | TrackBack